Tuesday, August 18, 2015

4 Nasty & Weird Medical Treatments in History

Powder of Sympathy - This delicious remedy consisted of pig brains, worms, mummified corpses, and even rust.  This powder to be applied as a paste,which was achieved by simply adding water, wasn't applied to an area where a wound was present, but was applied to the object that caused the injury. It's probably a good thing this wasn't consumed or applied to a wound or an ailing area.  I wonder if anyone ate this crap?

Radium - Once a common medical remedy and an item used to make items glow in the dark when added to paint, such as clocks and watch dials, Radium is highly radioactive and is still used today to treat particular kinds of cancerous tumors.  Radium was once used in heating pads, suppositories, and with treating erectile dysfunction, arthritis, and Further, it was used in cosmetics to "brighten" the skin.  I bet!  There is nothing like that radioactive glow you can get from Radium!!!

In the 1920's and 30's, spas offered a pampered radium mud soak and a subsequent radium water rinse to keep your skin "glowing".  Again, I'll bet!  You should always liberally soak yourself in an element that kills something as aggressive as cancer.  It was also used in toothpaste and even in chocolate!  For erectile dysfunction, radioactive wax rods, known as “bougies", were shoved into your pee hole and it was supposed to help. 

The problem with Radium is obviously that it either destroys living cells or significantly damages them, which is why radiation treats cancer.   If Radium is eaten or absorbed, Radium rests in your bones, where it will spread to your body tissues, damaging and even killing many of them.  It was even used in toothpaste and chocolate.

This is what really ended up happening to those who consumed Radium.

Consuming the Dead - Okay, boys and ghouls, when a few ancient cultures experienced general aches and pains, such as menstrual and muscle cramps, headaches, or acid reflux, your doctor very likely would have prescribed a magic potion to cure your ails.  That seems all well and good and nice, right?  Well, consider that the elixir prescribed may just contain human blood, skin, or even ground up bone.  These medical practices carried on for centuries.  In the twelfth century, your local pharmacist (apothecary), would likely stock mummy powder, which is an extract derived from Egyptian mummies' stolen, ground up corpses.

As we all know, when you consume the dead, you're consuming their vitality.  Wait, they are freaking dead!  That doesn't work.  However, it was pretty logical how this worked.  If you had a headache, it was best to add some ground skull powder to your brew for a refreshing, restorative snack, kinda luck an aspirin, except it was made from dead people.

The Tape Worm Diet -  There is nothing like being able to eat whatever you like and not gain a pound.  This can certainly be achieved by introducing parasitic worms into your intestinal tract.  Basically, women would eat parasitic tapeworm eggs in order to let them grow and flourish as a weight loss remedy at the turn of the century.  Unleash the beasts and let the thinning begin!!!  Dummies!  Once the worms get growing, your tummy is descended, and of course, you likely have them pouring from your butt hole kinda like when your cats or dogs get worms.

Delicious!  In all seriousness, though, the problem with having a tapeworm is that you waste away, because you don't get the nutrition you crave.  People may have gotten thin, but they probably lost clumps of hair, lost the pallor in their skin, and were likely lethargic and gravely ill.  It can kill you.  I'll keep my chubs, thanks!  The scary part is that people are still doing this on purpose!  Good luck getting anybody to have sex with you when you have worms crawling out your ass!