Monday, February 9, 2015

Necromance Movies - Loving the Dead

Ok, so we love dead things sometimes.  We love Dracula and vampires, zombies, werewolves, mummies, ghosts, and Frankenstein, who used to be dead, but now isn't.  I am going to run down my top five favorite movies about those who actually are in love with something that is dead or used to be dead and now isn't and is sort of undead or sorta alive, well, you catch my drift...

1.  Dracula - There have been probably more movies, books, comics, and adaptations of Bram Stoker's Dracula novel and the characters on which it is based than of any other horror character(s) besides perhaps zombies than we can count.  There is almost always some chick that is in love with Dracula or some other vampire that represents him or shares some of his characteristics.  Sometimes he has power over the person to influence them to fall in love with him and sometimes he doesn't, but either way, I know he's my favorite!  The two major films that I am totally in love with that are adapted from Bram Stoker's original novel, Dracula, are Dracula (1979), starring Frank Langella as Dracula and 1992's Bram Stoker's Dracula, starring Gary Olman as Dracula.  Christopher Lee was my favorite Dracula, but that's another can of worms.  I am just making mention today of my two favorite Dracula films.

You can watch Bram Stoker's Dracula (1992) on Crackle here for free with nothing to download or sign up for.  The NBC Dracula series with hot ass Jonathan Rhys Meyers is available on Hulu, too if you are interested here.  You can watch 'em free and you don't need Hulu plus to watch, currently.

2.  Frankenstein - Frankenstein is a horror classic that has been adapted probably almost as many times as Dracula and has so many spins that can be taken on what it is based, its not even funny.  The Bride of Frankenstein is also a central theme in many of the films from the 1935 version of The Bride of Frankenstein to 1992's version of Mary Shelley's Frankenstein, which also adds Frankenstein's reanimated bride, which he loses when the creature kills her and makes him recreate her as his own with Frankenstein's beloved best galpal's heart added to the reanimated she creature, which was once his bride, Elizabeth.  1992's Mary Shelley's Frankenstein is my favorite Frankenstein film ever made to date! 

You can watch Mary Shelley's Frankenstein (1992), which stars Robert DeNiro, Kenneth Branaugh, and Helena Bonham Carter for free on Crackle here.  I bet you have no idea how much I am grateful that the year 1992 happened in classic horror film and book adaptations, none at all!

3.  Boy Eats Girl (2005) - Let's see, when you mix two of my favorite things, Irishmen (my favorite flavor of man--that makes me want a hot dog real bad...correct my English and I slap you, that was a movie quote a-holes--where is your sense of humor!???  I digress???) and Zombies, you get one of my favorite zombie flicks I have seen to date, Boy Eats Girl, which is a horror comedy about a girl, Jessica and her friend-zone "special friend", Nathan, who attempts suicide when Jessica stands him up by accident on the night he is to declare his love for her.  He sees her getting a ride home in the rain from a particularly douchy boy he goes to school with that picks on him.  He thinks they are doing sexy-time stuff when really, she is just reaching down to get something as she gets out of his car and decides to walk home, because he's perving on her.  Nathan hangs himself and his mom performs a ritual and turns him into a zombie.  Henceforward, all zombie hell breaks loose in their little regular Irish town.  It used to be available to watch for free on Hulu and Veoh, but now its only available on Hulu Plus and Netflix (DVD only).  You can watch it on Redbox Instant by Verizon, though.

4. Haekel's Tale (Masters of Horror Season 1 Episode 12 ) & Dead Alive (1992) - Haekel's Tale was a short story written by Clive Barker, this one hour short film, which was featured on the popular series features two stories in one about magical necromancy and medical resurrection as well as some literal loving of the dead.  I guess you would call them zombies, but I don't know that they are even that lively and one sure doesn't eat brains.  He likes getting jiggy, though.  I can't really say much more without spoiling it, but I guess the ultimate expression of love for the dead would be procreating with a creature once loved in life and still loved in death that is no longer alive.


Dead Alive (Braindead) (1992) - of course was a popular cult film made in New Zealand, which surrounds the circumstances created when Lionel's overbearing mother was bitten by an infected zombie monkey thing at the zoo, while trying to ruin Lionel's date with Paquita, his new love interest.  There is some love of the dead between two dead subjects that procreate and make a cute little zombie baby.

You can watch Haekel's Tale on Hulu for free here.

5.  Aftermath (1994), Dead Girl (2008) & Kissed (1996) - are two equally sick films.  Aftermath is sick in the fact that its just disturbing, even though there are barely words spoken throughout the entire short.  Its only a half an hour long, but defiling a corpse in the most intimate of ways is pretty creepy, especially while you are autopsying it in an actual medical environment and it is your job.  Kissed is unnerving in the fact that the main character actually falls in love with the handsome, young, and dead men she works on at the funeral parlor, where she secured employment for the purpose of meeting dead guys to love.  Dead Girl is pretty messed up in the fact that the chick is sort of a zombie thing bound and tied up 24/7 in an asylum, unable to die.  I'm not really sure what she is, but she is still conscious, though undead, and "loved" against her will by force.  I guess Kissed is the lighter of the three and maybe a little nicer, but they are both pretty messed up!