Sunday, February 14, 2016

5 Horrible VD Afflictions to Traumatize You for Valentine's Day 2016!

Aside from being a hotel maid, which I have done when I was unemployed one summer and finding used condoms on the floor and having to clean them up along with pubic hair in the shower and period drippings on the toilet seat, highlighted below are 10 horrible venereal diseases with which one can be afflicted.

Enjoy your Valentine's Day!  Get a hotel room, but please, clean up your bodily fluids and throw away your used condoms, thanks!  Be courteous.  Somebody gets paid $8 to clean up your stank.

A Public Service Message from Wicked Horrors XOXO

Obviously the scourge of AIDS/HIV can kill you and it's likely the most horrible STD with which you can be diagnosed, but with the newly developed cocktails of drugs to keep your T-Cells up and the virus from altering and replicating itself, it can be significantly manageable. Furthermore, this post will discuss only horrific symptoms that are gross and unsightly.

Also, note that the vast majority of these diseases are quickly treatable with prompt and adequate medical care in our modern age, but they were not always easily eradicated.  

Syphilis - If you thought HIV/AIDS was the most widespread sexually transmitted killer, you'd be very wrong.  Due to the longevity of Syphilis, which still survives and offers no immunization options, throughout the ages, Syphilis, an ancient venereal killer has killed many more than AIDS probably ever will, because I firmly believe they are on the edge of finding a cure to reverse the diseases or at the very least stop the virus in it's tracks.  Syphilis can be passed from a mother to her child during birth.  However, Syphilis, if caught early enough, can be eradicated from the body by being treated with penicillin.

Syphilis begins to become apparent when little, hard chancre sores begin to sprout all over your vag, dink, balls, and even sometimes in your mouth and bum-hole. Put it in ya mouuuuuthhhhh! Sometimes I like to sing songs to set the mood! These little chancres spread into larger sores and break open to create ulcers all over your sexy-time parts.

If you don't get it treated quickly, the infection can progress into a secondary stage, which results in skin rashes on the palms and bottoms of your feet. Sore throats, headaches, fevers, and swollen lymph nodes will likely result. This can take a couple of months, but can even take place many months after initial infection and the subsequent appearance of the nasty little rock 'n roll whore sores. However, at this point, the sores go away, healing without a trace.

If you haven't caught the infection and been treated by the time you reach the third stage, good luck Henry VIII. The latent period of Syphilis will likely last for a lifetime. You might not have sores or a fever, but Syphilis will almost invariably kill you eventually. The infection can spread to your heart, brain, and even your spinal cord. Sores are also very likely to return in the form of ulcers and this time the ulcers won't just be on your sexy-time parts. They can appear relatively anywhere on the body, though they are no longer infectious, they can be pretty unsightly. I am Henry the VIII I Am!!!!! Sorry, I broke out into song again!

Now, before the advent of antibiotics, our ancestors who were naughty little sluts or banged a naughty little slut ended up experiencing the full effects of Syphilis, such as debilitating aches and pains, ulcers, mental deterioration, and all of the symptoms I've already mentioned above. One of the coolest remedies in recent history were when the Victorians treated the disease with Mercury. Alright! Way to go, Victorians!!!! It's a bad idea to go visit your local Barber Surgeon, because he'll probably just bleed you and tell you to go buy some Mercury.

HPV (Human Papillomavirus Virus) - HPV is the virus that causes genital warts, yum!  It can be contracted by oral, anal, or vajayjay sex.  Dry humping naked is totes included.  Now, not everyone who comes down with this scourge gets genital warts.  However, they can experience no symptoms and end up with penile or cervical cancer if they are not regularly screened.  Women can do this via the pap smear, and well, guys, they just carry it usually, but rarely, they can get penile cancer or may have an eruption of warts on their boy parts.  Sometimes ass cancer can result in either sex, but that's kinda rare, too.

HPV is the most prevalent disease in the United States in contemporary times.  In fact, I bet you didn't know this, but this virus is so commonplace that at the very minimum, 75% of all people will be exposed to this virus at some point during their sex lives.  Some people's bodies fight the virus and never experience symptoms.  However, about 1% of sufferers develop some sexy ass genital warts, which look like flesh colored cauliflowers, and itch like a bastard, yum!  There's a vaccine.  Totes get it if you have insurance.

Chancroid -  Yum, this is a new one.  It used to be common, but it decreased in popularity, but it's back by popular demand!  I'm sure  you've heard of Chlamydia, but LGV (Lymphogranuloma Venereum) is the result of a certain strain of Chlamydia, which is of course quite common and is easily transmitted from one person to another.

Chancroid becomes apparent when one observes little sores on the vajay, dink, or bumhole.  These sores don't hurt and can show up just days after being infected to around a month after being infected, depending on the afflicted person.  These sores may also disappear without treatment.  The sufferer will likely suffer from swollen lymph nodes in the sexytime personal bodily areas, along with some tenderness and discomfort.


Some sufferers may experience anal bleeding and discharge along with fatigue, a fever, chills, and general aches and pains, such as with suffering from many viruses or afflictions.  Chancroid tends to occur most often from bare-backing (butts-sex) as well as with bum fisting.  Don't ask me why, because I don't know and I'm not a fan of bum fisting.  

Chancroid should be treated ASAP, because if it's left to it's own devices, LGV can spread to other lymph nodes other than in your crotch and permanently scar your lady or man parts as a result of nasty ulceration, particularly in the anal area.  It can even kill the sufferer on rare occasion.

Trichomoniasis (Trich) - Trich is one of the most common conditions that leads to vaginitis.  However, it can often display no symptoms especially in men.  Most sufferers are unaware that they are infected.  When symptoms are present, women can experience fishy discharge, which is frothy in nature like cappuccino.  Trich can cause vaginal itchiness, bloody spotting, groin swelling, and frequent peeing, which burns and smarts.  Men can sometimes experience discharge, pain, and burning, frequent peeing.  

Necrotizing Fasciitis - Now, this isn't really an STD.  However, if you by happenstance have the flesh eating bacteria in the strep family known an narcotizing fasciitis and it's present in your saliva/mouth, fingers/hands, or on your special parts, you're partner is likely in for a treat and about to have a vajay that looks kinda like a jelly donut not to be confused with the blue waffle.  If infected, their skin will die, turn black, and fall off.  Yay!

Blue Waffle Disease - Yes, this is totes real.  I thought you might want to know more about it's juiciness.  This relatively new condition is most common with the ladies, but did you know that guys can get the blue waffle!? Ok, so the blue waffle pretty much only happens to those with a weak immune system, which makes those suffering from an automimmune disease like AIDS/HIV at high risk. 

Blue Waffle Disease is caused by bacterium that intensely burns when running rampant in the vagina. It's itchy, too! It causes that nasty swelling you may or may not have had the joy of googling on the internet. This is what causes that lovely blue hue that creates the "blue waffle". It causes vaginal discharge to turn blue, too and to be very smelly. It likes women so much, because, of course, bacteria thrives in the vagina, a warm, moist place. It's more likely for a woman who doesn't shower soon after sex and/or uses sex toys, because bacteria thrives under these conditions.