Wednesday, January 28, 2015

10 Wicked Scary Things!

1.  Satan (Legend - 1985) - I am specifically talking about Satan, who is portrayed by Tim Curry in Legend (1985).

2. The Chokey (Matilda - 1996) - When the kids are bad at Matilda's school, they get sent to the Chokey!

You can watch Matilda below in the two video players. There is part one of the movie and part two so note the two distinct video players. This is a kid friendly movie. Its pretty entertaining for adults, too, though! I love this movie. I used to watch it with my niece and we still joke about The Chokey.

3.  Mr. Tumnus (The Chronicles of Narnia - 2005) - Aka Pan, Pan is hanging out with kids and giving them tea that makes them feel funny.  Sure, that's not creepy or terrifying or anything.  Go play with an adult Goat Man that has no friends that aren't kids.  Also, he walks around naked with only a red scarf in the effing snow for eff's sake!  Did anyone else note this?

4.  Mrs. Ganoush (Drag Me to Hell - 2009) - Mrs. Ganoush, is of course, the elderly gypsy who is not given an extension by the bank on her mortgage and she dies weeks later after cursing the customer service person she asked to give her an extension at the bank who was up for a job promotion and had to show her balls.

5.  Danny Glick on the Window!  (Salem's Lot - 1979) - All I have to say is, "Let me in!  Its me, Danny." 

6.  The Vampires in 30 Days of  Night (2007) - They are not very human when they get a foot or two from you.  They have black, colorless eyes, sharp teeth like a Piranha and they don't speak in a native human tongue.  They speak a creepy Slavic sounding language mixed with demon-speak or something, something totally alien to humans, which scared the crap out of me!  They were very animal-like and without mercy.

7.  The Castavets (Rosemary's Baby - 1968) - Minnie and Roman Castavets are murdering, evil, cultists disguised as nosy, eccentric neighbors.  Its creepy to think that one would just find them old and strange, but harmless.  They would be very wrong!

8.  Malfeitor (Witchboard - 1986) - Carlos Malfeitor is the evil spirit in the Ouija board that pretends to be a little boy named David and eventually possesses Tawny Kitaen (Linda).  He carries an axe, isn't a nice guy at all, and has really creepy eyes and has always scared the shiat out of me, whether you think he's scary or not!  Yuck, I hate him!

9.  Andrei Chickatilo (Serial Killer - Kiev, Ukraine) - He's terrifying.  He looks like a killer, sounds like a killer, and his eyes would cut through you like a knife if he wasn't dead and executed.  He scares me, because he mutilated and ate people and it didn't matter whether you were a man, woman, or child.

Chickatilo, Evilenko, and Citizen X

The real, true to life serial killer, Andrei Chickatilo lived in The Soviet Union as a "party member" in the early 80's. The true story is much worse than is portrayed in Evilenko as well as Citizen X.

Evilenko (2004) - Its Kiev, Ukraine in 1984. Childless and satisfied in a sexless marriage due to his impotence, Andrej Romanovic Evilenko, the character who is based on the Russian serial killer, Andrei Chickatilo, gets fired for being a molester from the school he works at. He then begins to assault and slash women, boys, some young men, and girls and once dismembered--he eats them!

An investigator, who is a father and husband family man, Lesiev, is assigned the serial killer's case and it takes him eight long years to detect him and apprehend him. He is caught in spring 1992, and is given a trial, and of course, is sentenced to death.  The real life investigator, Mikhail Fetisov on the case is depicted about to the right.  Lesiev, who was the portrayal of the real life Fetisov does bear a striking resemblance to the detective I believe he supposed to be portraying in Evilenko.

Evilenko, which cast Malcom McDowell as a terrifying, sick, and cold, and outwardly cruel version of Mr. Chickatilo, takes an artistic spin and has a wonderfully chilling backdrop against the Old Soviet setting as well as a chilling reminding that Andrei was indeed a manipulative pedophile in addition to being a ruthless hunter of women and all humans.

Of course, Malcom McDowell is a fabulous character actor you might better know as Caligula or Alex in the Stanley Kubric cult classic, A Clockwork Orange.  He nailed the character of Chickatilo, even walking in the same stride as well as capturing his facial expressions and the intensity behind his tortured eyes.

It also highlights the sexless marriage in which he was engaged and his dedicated wife, but does not tell us that the real Chickatilo was a father of two, a son and a daughter. Is said that the children he sired were created by flaccid masturbation and a subsequent semen coated finger bang process in which he engaged with his wife, Feodosia.

His marriage was arranged by his sister and her husband and in just a couple of weeks after meeting, the two married.  Soon after there began an understanding that Andrei couldn't get and keep it up.  He claims he was attracted to his wife and loved her so the sexless marriage wasn't for lack of trying.  

Its not that he was just attracted to kids and adolescents, but was also attracted to women, but minus the violence, he couldn't get off and sometimes even then he couldn't get off so the act of killing and eating the flesh of those in which he felt a sexual attraction, was the only way to release his sexual tensions and reach some sort of mental climax. Indeed, sex and violence can be fused and can become a way to get sexual frustrations out of the way for sociopathic and antisocial serial killers, who have no other way to release their sexual energies.

McDowell does an excellent job portraying this character, who might I add, he looks nothing like.  He gets all the proper mannerisms and even the way he walks down.  I will include some footage of Mr. Chickatilo in this post so you can compare them.  Andrei was sort of an awkward, stiff, almost effeminate fellow, but unattractive, and downright scary looking with blazing blue eyes and evil eyebrows to highlight the intensity behind the crazy look in his eyes.

Citizen X (1995) - Viktor Burakov (Steven Rea), who you might know better as Jim or Fergus (Fergie) in The Crying Game, is a investigator working on a serial killer's case in his district in the early 1980's Communist Soviet Union. However, his superiors do not concur with his ideas that a serial killer is at working, subscribing to the idea that serial killers are a Western phenomenon.  Burakov is the only one astute enough to notice the pattern that is emerging with these increasingly large number of similar murders.

Rea portrays an IRA member in The Crying Game who falls for and hooks up with a transgendered woman, who was born with and still possesses male genitalia and throws up after she orally pleasures him.  Then he feels bad and they are kinda an item in a sexless relationship.  Hummm, bet that character can relate to Chickatilo, although he kills for a reason, because he's an assassin, I guess, yeah.

He finally figures out who the killer might be, but it set back when the "party" begins to protect its "citizen", the killer.  Finally, of course, Communism dies and Burakov is appointed head of the investigation. He brings in a psychiatrist, who develops a profile of the serial killer.  Burakov's superior contacts the FBI and learns that Burakov already a notable subject of interest in The United States due to his dilligence and good intuitive detective work.  Finally, Chikatilo is arrested.  The psychiatrist meets with the detainee (Chickatilo), and through his discussion with him get a confession.

Based on an actual case, this film tells the story of Burakov, a Russian forensic pathologist assigned to locate the serial killer.  His assignment, of course, takes a toll on his personal life as he stalks the killer for years even though the bureaucracy of the Soviet state gives him serious obstacles. Donald Sutherland won an Emmy and a Golden Globe Award for his role as Colinel Fetisov. 

I hate the plot from which this boring film stems.  It drags on forever and feels as if its never going to end.  The story is long, boring, and barely focuses on Chickatilo or his victims.  Its emphasis is instead on the investigators obstacles in the case as well as the rise and fall of Communism in the Soviet Union.  The setting was so tedious and boring that I lost interest in the film a half an hour in and had to actually watch it in breaks throughout the day so I could compare and contrast the two films, Evilenko and Citizen X in this review.  

I also could not stand the fact that both Rea and Sutherland didn't use Russian or even general European movie accents.  They used a tiny teeny weeny Russian accent in their own voices.  Rea often spoke in a slight brogue and Sutherland, in his American accent with a slight hint of Slavic flair, not quite enough, in my opinion.  I didn't believe they were in Russia, or even in Eastern Europe, or in the Communist Soviet Union.  It could have been a bit more realistic.  Even the same fake European general movie accent would have been great could the characters manner of speaking been cohesive, at the very least.

However, the story was more true-to-life as the details were mostly accurate.  Chickatilo, when he was portrayed at all besides flashes of murders and him being pathetic at home being berated by his wife and all others, was more of a sympathetic character than he was portrayed as in Evilenko.  I don't buy it.  I think perhaps a blend of both characters might be more true in reality, but that's just my spin on things.  I didn't know the guy.  He was executed half way around the world when I was barely a high school student.

10. Albert Fish (Serial Killer) - Albert was a sado-masochistic serial killer and cannibal. He had a bunch of over-the-top creepy fetishes and indulged all his sexual appetites, which included eating human crap and whipping people until they bled.  He was also known as the Gray Man, the Werewolf of Wysteria and the Brooklyn Vampire. He boasted that he had "had children in every State," putting the figure at around 100, although it is not clear whether he was talking about cannibalization or "having them". This has not been verified. He was a suspect in at least five killings during the course of his life, three to which he confessed, which law enforcement was able to trace to a known homicide. In addition, he confessed to stabbing at least two other people.

He was put on trial for the kidnap and murder of Grace Budd, and was convicted and executed via electric chair.  What scares me the most is his benign, grandfatherly appearance, because he was, in fact, a father and likely a grandfather since he did have six children of his own, who claimed he was a decent father.